You Know You Go To Newton When...

sadly, i know what 90% of these statements are talking about. oh, and fyi for... well nobody but chris reads my blog who went to newton: marvin the janitor is no longer, nhs now has 1 way halls, mesh bookbags are a thing of the past... hmm and some other things never change LOL.

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For all students and graduates of our beloved Newton High School, if you can relate to any of the following statements, this is for you.

You Know You Go To Newton When...

• Your health teacher tells you his sex stories
  
• The subs play cards with you in class
  
• The subs are seen on a regular basis in the same class
  
• You can get high from walking in the bathroom.
  
• When people fight, the walls fall over. & everyone on that hallway at the time of the fight gets suspended.
  
• The "call" button doesn't work.
  
• Your school has a "dungeon"
  
• The rats learn literature with you.
  
• Roaches drink from the same water fountain as you.
  
• When dessert is spelled "desert" on the lunch menu.
  
• You get tackled when you blow a whistle.
  
• Lockdowns are regular occurrences.
  
• Half the seniors don't pass the GHSGT, let alone graduate, and you can just forget going to college.
  
• Graduation is at New Birth Church of Christ
  
• You don't know what a pep rally is.
  
• "Chicken tender Friday" is the highlight of the week.
  
• 25 cents for extra ranch or pack of ketchup.
  
• Basketball games... blacks to the left, whites to the right, and we celebrate when we integrate.
  
• There is no student section at the football games, just basketball.
  
• The AP students don't know how to spell "definitely".
  
• Our school bulletin board is entitled "What It Do?"
  
• "no bitch, he mine" is written on the wall of the dungeon, and no one seems to want to clean it up.
  
• The soccer players lose their soccer balls in the Yellow River.
  
• Our Latin teacher's previous profession was a welder, and he refers to a "dipthong" as "not the one's you buy at Victoria's Secret, ladies..."
  
• The girls know how to get an A in 9th grade government.
  
• You know who "Smiley" is, and apparently he has been with a lot of girls.
  
• Our hallways are the low-grade version of The Hall of Mirrors.
  
• Our flag corps def. does not swing flags.
  
• When we get a mascot, it gets freed the next day.
  
• We have a barn, complete with "farm day".
  
• The lunch ladies freak out when you give them a 10 dollar bill and ask for change.
  
• Our assistant principal knows all of the black girls personally.
  
• When u know your assistant principal's favorite beer is Bud Lite
  
• Black History Month of referred to as Multi-Cultural Month.
  
• The parking lot is where it goes down... literally.
  
• There's only one white senior cheerleader.
  
• "Timewarp" is everywhere, but no one knows what it is.
  
• The cop's name is "Cookie"
  
• When your literature teacher has created a magnetic field around her classroom.
  
• The essential questions never change.
  
• We have our daily sociology discussions on the difference between black mommas and white mommas.
  
• You take Physics just to go to Six Flags.
  
• "The Sound Factory" breaks out in a beat every class period.
  
• You rap poetry in British literature.
  
• Teachers still teach the "i before e except after c" and "princ i pal"
  
• We build a new high school, and we are still overcrowded.
  
• The principle "ingeniously" decides to take 7 min. off each class just to add a 5 lunch (due to overcrowding)
  
• Everyone goes to the NHS/EHS football game, just to watch us lose to a 4A school that was 0-30 last year.
  
• When the answers to the AP US History tests are on the internet, and everyone makes a 100 except for the poor kid in the back of the class that has no friends to tell him about it.
  
• You can easily break in, but there is nothing to steal.
  
• One-way halls aren't still enforced, but the signs are still there, right next to the prison letters.
  
• Violating the one-way halls is about the equivalent to running a street light.
  
• You have technology class, but with no computers.
  
• The homecoming dance lasts about 30 minutes.
  
• The seniors that graduated the year before hang out at Newton like they still go there.
  
• You can go to the janitor (Clayton) and find out who’s dating who and who got in a fight because he knows everything.
  
• When you know the reason your math teacher (Mrs. Gay) is evil because her husband (Mr. Gay) left her for a black dude
  
• When your history teacher has a seizure "due to stress" in class and puts in his letter of resignation the next day, in the middle of the school year
  
• When your library is the size of a classroom
  
• When the bathrooms have prison bars on them
  
• When the special kids just walk around without supervision
  
• When a special kid is nicknamed Danger because he goes around harassing females and reciting the song Danger....and nobody knows his real name...
  
• HALF OF THE STUDENT BODY IS EITHER PREGNANT OR GAY!!
  
• OR WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE CLASS PRESIDENT OF 06' DOESN'T EVEN GRADUATE?!
  
• You walk in and the aroma of weed and old carpet is overwhelming, but you just sigh to yourself and say "Welcome to Newton"....