haha. half life.

dirty jokes.

I saw a billboard that read: "Need help? Call Jesus. 1-800-555-3787" So out of curiosity I did. Twenty minutes later a Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

A guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. As the copper is writing up the ticket, the guy asks, "Can you arrest me for calling you a filthy name?" "Yes" replies the cop. He then asks, "Can you arrest me for thinking something?" "No" replies the cop. "Well then," says the man, "I think you're an asshole!"

I bumped into my ex-girlfriend in a bar. "I had sex with another woman last night," I told her. "But I was thinking of you the whole time." "You miss me that much?" she asked. "No," I said. "But it kept me from coming too fast."

What's the difference between Heath Ledger and Heath Ledger jokes? Heath Ledger jokes will get old.

Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Please give just a small donation and we will send you the video it's fucking hilarious!

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic cop shouted to me, "Oi whats your disability?" I said "Tourettes, you fucking cunt!"

So this guy goes into a whorehouse. Once in the room with the prostitute, he puts $50 on the table and drops his pants. The hooker almost faints, the guy has a 18 inch cock. She says," Hold on pal, I'll lick it, I'll suck it, but you're not sticking that in me." The man pulls up his pants and picks up his $50 and says, " Screw that, I can do that myself !"

The house (with good pics)

Backyard, shot from the driveway
Back/Side yard shot from near the pond on the backside
Side/Front yard shot from the road
Front/other side yard shot from driveway
The nearby pond
The entrance to the basement
The spacious front porch
The back deck (those double doors are to the master suite)
The [mostly] fenced in back yard
Back porch, from master suite.
The only wall damage (in basment, foot level)
The unfinished basement, shooting towards the street (notice the ping pong table) :P
The other half of the unfinished basement, shooting away from the road.
I LOVE the front doors :)
The kitchen (facing the backyard)
The master suite. nothing fancy.
The master shower
The master tub. I love the wood and windows :)
Master sink
Living room - this wall is back to the kitchen - those doors goto the back deck.
Umm.. dining room? just outside the kitchen, other side of living room.
Wash room - between garage and kitchen.
Sun room - between kitchen and wash room (I love the bay windows!)
Kitchen from sun room area.

the kitchen appliances are old. i mean, they look 30+ yrs old. This house was made in 1988, and mom & pop's house was built in ~1985. comparing appliances, mom and pop must have bought state of the art appliances, and this house used knock off clearance ones :P but i do like the natural wood of the kitchen.

The carpet (throughout the house, but mainly the living room) must be replaced - tears at the edges and just pain nasty. there is a $1750 escrow for doing just this. the walls need paint, but that's easy :)

The basement gives me somewhere to hide or do my bomb making wood working. :) the master suite isnt elegant but again is functional. the master bath has some nice accents, and the master closet is bigger (walk in and around, 3 full sides of shelves). the living room is flowing and spacious, and nice big front porch. This house has more places to relax at, i.e. front porch, sun room, back deck, etc. i think i like it...

comments?

FUCK

sadly i only spent like $55 on it back last summer... i just paid the $120 (yes, sad) when i called the 800 number on the back of the card (i honestly haven't seen a statement from them - but i am still going through mail...)

but - this card i plan to use just as much as i have in the last 6 months. none.

edit: FUCK
i THOUGHT i paid it off. $120 was the MINIMUM. i OWE $229.73. FUCK ME!

Rap Snacks

You want som Rap Snacks? Shady Aftermath! Pursue your college degree!But wait - we have cases of Rap Snakcs - and only $0.80 each!!! :P

332 Days Left Til Christmas!

Outside, from drivewayInside, through glass front door.
From street, near (i assume) property line (and a small pond)
Front porch from beside garage.
Facing front yard from driveway
Facing backyard from driveway
OK so i found this house as a HUD forclosure last night. Market value $170k just lowered to $136k. i bought my house, valued at $129k for $105k. If i can sell my house for what it's worth, and buy this on in a timely fashion, i could have the same mortgage payment, and be in a 2000 sq ft house on over an acre of land - living closer to conyers (it's right off Honeycreek). i want it. i want it badly. tomorrow my realty lady will let me borrow the HUD key and tour the inside. i can't wait. maybe i should start cleaning :-|

basically if i can't sell my house, i can't afford this one. If i had no car payment, i might be able to squeeze out both - but i'm not going to. Anybody want a 1385 sq ft house on .68 acre of land? :)

lol :P

Birds Landing On Ice - Watch more free videos

OK. so does this remind you more of Little Superstar or Stewie Griffin?


Story about this next image. Back... 5 years ago. I bought a laptop, and connected it via 400Mbps Firewire to my desktop, who was connected to the Internet via dial up... I found both pc's could be online at the same time using Internet Connection Sharing, and when transferring files, it didn't have to go though the internet, that it was smart enough to send it directly. 5 years ago, 819kb/s was uber pimp - dial up peaks at about 5kb/s. Today, even as of 2007, my download speed is rated at 1,000kb/s, and is supposed to spike up to 1,500kb/s. Verizon FiOS is rated at 1875kb/s, but currently isn't available in GA. Wow how times have changed....

still sick :(

i started looking online for my symptons and what virus i could have. the back of my mind is thinking strep, and i've got half if the symptoms. then again the article i read eluded more to the sore throat virus, of which i've got half of it's symptoms. hell if i know. i took a 4 hour nap today, i feel better but still like crap. i'm drinking ramen soup - yes all those ramen packets of flavoring i have? i'm putting a little bit in my mug of hot water for a pretty tasty soup (just minus the noodles, which i can't really eat currently anyways) :(

also these mandarin oranges are pretty good too. the only thing i've thought this evening that would taste good is grapefruit - fresh, in the rind grapefruit. i've been drinking watered down grapefruit juice all weekend too.

i got some "iced tea spoons" from target today. regularly $9.99 on clearance for $2.48. they're spoons with extra long handles. i've been wanting some for a long time, i've just never been able to find any. mom has some, and they're great for a tall glass of chocolate milk, or eating grapefruit, etc (long handle, and small spoon head) but even mom said she hasn't seen them sold in years.

rockband's pretty fun - but i'm about sick of it for a while myself. maybe next weekend we'll finish unlocking the songs - i have 3 bands started: one for drums single, one for guitar single, and one for co-op. and you have to start from the beginning with each :( so far the co-op has like 42 of 58 songs unlocked... me and chris played for like 2.5 hours, then me chris and trey played for another 2... then me chris trey and terri played for another 30ish mins. by them, 1 a.m., my sick self was DEAD.

back about a year ago i did a panaroma of the dallas view outside the hotel in texas. this was a trial of a program designed to do panaromas. the results looked like this:

today i found the original pics and used photoshop. the result was this:

it's not my best work, but it'll do for now.

i'm sick!

i've had a sore throat for a few days now. wednesday night i felt like crap and took some vodka and dayquil (cause i was out of nyquil) and went to bed. i woke up thinking i felt better, but i really didn't. i lasted til noon - i couldn't stay out of the bathroom so i was advised "go home" so i did. and i slept from 12:30 pm all the way until... about 11pm. so now i'm restless and hungry, for all i've eaten all day was a piece of bread for breakfast and half a glass of grapefruit juice. so i'm making some ramen noodle :)

i don't feel too bad now. a lil of a headache, but otherwise ok. g'night folks.

what do i want.

i have $135 in gift certificates for walmart. i think this is the best thing i've found to spend them on yet:

Rock Band, $159.92

Guitar Hero III w/ red controller, $79.92

Guitar Hero III w/ black controller, $89.82

oh the choices. vote!

sweet

i've got almost 95GB free over 3 hard drives:
Size Real-size Free
300GB 279GB 34GB
100GB 93GB 30GB
250GB 233GB 31GB

57GB of movies on the 250, and 175GB on teh 300. teh 100's confusing me. all for now.

edit: this is changed now. too lazy to look. lol. jeebus! i've taken nearly 17k pictures, totaling to over 20GB!

mo Pics

This should have been your cake, chris!

picture time boys and girls...

the fog outside of ADF on a cold morning... (yes there is a parking lot and building behind the truck...)
SNOW!!!
picture taken Jan 3rd... 16 degrees
picture taken Jan 7th... 70 degrees
mmm... margaritas at the Thrashers game.
cereal box at Chick-Fil-A
The front of the cereal box at Chick Fil A
Dumbass can't park.
So i find my sheriff's office reciept, write a friendly message in the letterhead...
and leave it for them :)
yes, the rubik's can be solved. it's no longer any fun :(
look what i found at work! CRACK! hahahaha no it's sugar.
oh really. i say it happened 3 months ago. or is it yet to become even better? ;)
good pic of a random porsche driving down the interstate
wow. such beautiful eyes and captivating smile :)
at my uncle's. i may try to reproduce this for my house...
again - how could you not love her? :)