You know you're a Passat owner if...

...you still look for and expect to find "hidden features", even after several years of ownership.

...you still look forward to it getting dark outside so you can enjoy it's cool red and blue lighting.

…you show up at an autocross to race and people thought you there to watch.

… your freshly chipped station wagon whooped you neighbor's 2005 Lexus SC430 and then gets 32 mpg on the highway.

...you cannot find the PCV valve in either the Bentley manual or the engine bay itself.

...your heated seats catch fire.

...you've ever had another Passat owner give you a dirty look because you waved at them.

...you've ever put off replacing a worn-out suspension component, hoping it will be recalled before it breaks.

...you remove the whole front of your car by yourself even though you don't have a lot of mechanical skills , replace water pump timing belt and put everything back together with online instructions only...

...your dealer hates you as much as you hate them!

...you take it into the dealer for service and they have no clue what's going on with your car. Wait...that VW in general.

...your list of things that dont work are longer than the list of things that do work......

...you take pride in the fact that you have a family car with a 1.8 liter 4 cylinder engine.

...you know more about oil specifications than half the staff at Mobil/Exxon.

...your front brake pads outlast two sets of rears.

...you have to explain seat back tilt adjustment to your front seat passenger.

...you get pissed when you hear "nice Jetta!!"

...you have coins under the dash to stop it from rattling

...an oil change requires a screwdriver, scissors, and zipties in addition to a socket wrench and drain pan...

...it takes 45 minutes, blood, sweat, tears, and cursing to change the air filter the first time. and you only get 3 of the clips back on.

...you think you're cool when you flip open the switchblade key as you're walking up to your car.

...you realize you just spent almost $50 on a DO IT YOURSELF oil change.

...you constantly worry about what is the next most unbelievable thing in your Passat that will break down.

...you look at every other person driving one, and consider waiving as if you are somehow related to each other....

...when you're driving down the road and every time you say "Hey look..." a passenger inturrupts with "I know, I know, there goes another Passat..."

...you get excited when you go a month without having to replace something

...you get a woodie when you see a W8

...you make sure someone is looking when you flip your ignition key out

...you can lock your car with your key fob, but choose to put the key in the door so you can close all your windows and sunroof and have everyone around you comment on it.

...you either own a VAG-COM, can borrow one, or plan to buy one with your tax refund

...your passengers slam the doors so hard.

...you get in the car at night just to see all the cool lights surrounding you.