In the beginning....

ok. i've been saying i was going to create a blog for, eh, i dunno, a long ass time. i finally got bored enuf to create. one. hopefully it wont turn into a "not much happened today. i'm going to goto bed now."

Last night was a drinkin' party. Lets see: me, chris, crystal, amy, brad, trey, jon, chris, sara, jessica... lfd stopped in a for a few then left. amy jon and brad got fairly shitfaced. fairly? they did. brad was the only that didn't heave most of it back up.... jon didn't have too much, but mixed beer and liquor. amy just had alot of liquor. brad had quite a bit but did stop. the rest of us had a few drinks, and it was very casual and fun.

fyi, me and annie are no longer together. our relationship lasted over 2 years, and i don't regret it at all. it was fairly mutual, i'll say that. she had wanted to go on a break for months now, every time i'd say "i do'nt think that's such a good idea" and we wouldn't. well, after hearing this time and time again, and this last time was "lets just be buddies", i finally said "fine. if that's what you want." so we went on a break starting about 2 months ago? the reason behind the "break" was because, it wasn't that i was holding her back from accomplishing what she wanted to do, but she needed time to do the things she wanted to do. but i wasn't holding her back from those. but she needed time apart to do it. yea. i understood it that well too. at first, i was kinda irritated about the whole idea, but after a week or 2, i was really beginning to miss her; i started to think that maybe this "break" really was a good thing.. then a month dragged on and i began to fit the roll that i had assumed: single. she was basically dragging me along, saying i could date others if i wanted to, but that eventually she'll be back. so i decided i wanted to do that. [insert about 2 weeks] i couldn't just date others and not tell annie, so i did just that: i told her who i was interested in, and that i did want to date her, and that i couldn't just go behind her back like that without telling her first. she was quite shocked to say the least, and prob wasn't too happy (as expected) but it went over that night relitivly well? i say that night, because i've talked to her since then, and it went from shock and dismay, to depression, to irritation. i always loathed the feeling of "being wanted" i guess is the word, and to be able to know that you have somebody that knows you in and out. and i had that. but looking back (well, from about a week ago) i can only now tell that something was missing. i kinda felt like something wasn't right all along (not that i wasn't happy), but i think there may have been things that just couldn't have worked themself out. sometimes as people change, the changes are welcomed or shunned. i felt like some of the changes that both of us have gone through in the last 2 years didn't help for use to grow further together. had it not been for the break, we very well might still be together, but it might have just been a setup for a harder fall? right now that's how i'm looking at it.

but anyways, time for a change in subjet. i just downloaded day of defeat (for some reason, lol) in 5mins 30ish seconds. 173MB. that was an avg of 540kb/s or so. i lubs my 4mbps comcast lol. tho my avg was 543kb/s down, which translates into 4.32mbps connection. heh heh heh.... (for comparision, 1.5mbps dsl would have taken approx 16 mins 30 seconds, and dial up would have taken 11 hours 32 mins...) continuing the comparision, if i could hold that 543kb/s for the 11 hours 32 mins that dial up would have required, then i could download 21.5GB. which is equivellant to exactly 5 DVD's. :D

well, since the lan party me and chris had last weekend (er, 2 weekends ago by now? wow time is passing faster than i thougth) i have met a very lovely young lady by the name of Crystal. i so far have fallen head over heels for her. there is something about her that i have yet to figure out that is so completly majical that it's mind boggling. i think i told her last week that my mind "was feeling like a washing machine, i could hear my brainy matter going 'slosh slosh', and that in a few mins it was about to goto spin cycle." lol. she was here for the weekend (allong with everybody else, lol) and i had one of the best nights in a reallly long time. no, nothing like that, i own the gutter - not you :P it's just that i can speak my mind, say really whatever is on my mind, what i think, what i'm doing (eg. "i'm scratching my butt right now") and i almost always get a reply of something almost-as-wrong. :D somewhow i stay wronger than her. maybe that's a good thing. oh yea, last night we just chatted for hours on end until sunrise. well, 6 a.m. was showing light and she finally said "gah, goto sleep!" so i did. but i coudln't sleep well after about 10 so i kept annoying her ever few hours when i woke up... but like i say all we did was chat for hours, and it was so amazing and glorious. i dun think i can't really describe in too much more detail what it felt like to me, but i am sooo happy right now. i'm trying to sort out my feelings, and when i figure it out i'll prob tell somebody, until then, i don't know what i'm thinking. all i do know is i can look into her eyes and stare and stare and stare; i'm intregued by the unknown? i dunno. i do know tho, that i wanna know more :)

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

hrm, what else to add, what else to add... on the way home from bring crystal home i stopped by Kroger and picked up food and drink for me and chirs. i got $67 worth of cokes and michelini's frozen dinners... lol yea, the freezer is now packed, and i got 9 cases of coke. chris has 3. we both happy. and i STILL have no bread for lunch next week lol

i guess the last rant i'll leave you with tonight (or for now) is my job. i need a new one :( i worked this past sat (i work about 1 sat a month) but this sat sucked the worse. brad works every sat, and he said this past one was retivily calm. i was thinking 'like hell". i applied at the newton co. BOE but got my letter stating "11 applied, 8 interviewed, but we didn't choose you." i did get the interview, so i know i was somewhere between choice #2-8. i will prob follow through with the termite job - selling termite contracts. base pay is just a little less then what i make now, and you get commission. so i'm thinking about it, but i dun know. i konw my current job is very stable. we turn a profit pretty much every month, i don't fear being fired or layed off, but my pay sucks. this NCBOE job would have been 10 less hours a week, benifits, almost double in pay and sick/vacation time. now why wouldn't i have wanted that? My summer job back in high school was working on lawn mowers, but i don't want to make that a career. Computers (which is my current job) is a great field, but pc repair for the general public is a bitch. the best comptuer variation that i can think of is web site design, which i've been wanting to get into more with, but just haven't had the time to. i want more flexible hours, and i forsee web site design giving me that. you're given a deadline to get something done, but beyond that, it's somewhat not houlry based; i'd love to be able to sleep in, but work throughout the night. my 9-7 current job kills 90% of the time 90% of the stores i want to goto is open. that sucks.

ok ok i'm leaving this on a sour note (me griping about my job) but i'm gonna go rid myself of yesterday's..... "intake". yea, lol ok maybe if i dont' become too lazy i'll update this at least a couple times a week :o