nice qutoes

• "Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I."


• "There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't."


• "MAC for predictability, Linux for reliability, Palm for mobility, Windows for solitaire."


• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?


• What if the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about?


• "It's not the *gun* that kills you . . . it's these LITTLE HARD THINGS!"


• "Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art."


• "I've found Jesus. He was hiding behind the sofa the whole time."


• "When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."


• "Proofread carefully to see if you any words out."


• "Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines."


• "All those who believe in pychokinesis raise my hand."


• "Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."


• A Rental Car: The only true all-terrain vehicle.


• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.


• "I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town."


• "You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance." -Edward Flaherty


• The reason lightening doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.


• "DOS never says: 'Exellent command or file name.'"


• "Save the whales. Collect the whole set."


• "You can lead a yak to water, but you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke."