if you were to die today, who would show up to your funeral?

would you show up to mine?

i don't know if dad really realizes it yet or not, but he just inherited another wife....

friday my uncle passed. there was a viewing saturday and sunday, and the funeral today at 2. i was a pallbearer. people were coming up to me and saying "thomas will be missed" and i'd reply "no, he's already being missed."

my grandfather passed when i was in the first grade, and i saw my father cry. during a heated argument i've seen my father on the verge of tears, and i've seem a tear fall at my cousin's funeral now 3 weeks ago. this weekend he's been beside himself. whenever i felt like i was in control, and i'd look over and see him weeping, i'd lose all control. i'd hear his voice start to break, and i'd lose everything. thinking of him like this i'm losing it now... when i started to leave the house tonight, he told me "be careful, drive slow and all that" <-- those were his exact words. he said he worried about my sister, not that he didn't worry about me... i lost it again at that moment (and now) i walked over to him, i couldn't even look at him in the face, and hugged him. he let loose at the same time. i don't remember if either of us muttered a word. we didn't need to - we just knew.

my uncle was such a popular person. he touched so many people. i've heard a ton of stories lately of how he'd go so far out of his way to help others. like the neighbor who's hot water stopped working - he came over, found out it was the water heater element, so he came home, took the one of his own and gave it ot them; his family had to take cold showers for a few days, but he did for others. :) i think EVErYONE had at least one story like this of him. another lady said one thing she never did when she left was leave empty handed - he'd always load her up with corn, okra, peas, cantalope, onions.... the list was endless.

me and my sister started comparing notes and found out dad's pretty much been taking care of 2 households for now months, if not close to a year. he's been cutting the grass, cleaning up outside, doing repairs, etc. my uncle was in the process of making a trailor for a customer, and trying to fix some cars - my father pretty much totally took over all those projects. he's been down there looking after his brother pretty much every day for at least 6 months now. my father's heart of gold has really shown lately. hopefully that's a kimble gene that has been passed down to me.

the outpouring of support has been overwhelming. food from all over the place was sent. someone heard of what happend and had 3 pizzas delivered tonight, just because. i was wanting to get in his shop and clean up, and to knock off the rust off some of the tools; i wasn't alone in that idea, most all the males in teh family want to do that too. i'm enthusatic about helping repairs around their house and yard. the yard is one thing i feel pretty well qualified to take care of. my aunt and uncle this morning got up and cleaned her house today, put some rugs in teh living room. dad just happened to cut the grass friday morning (before anything happened). MORE food was brought over. it's been pure amazement.

also verified another uncle is a freggin' nutcase. it's been confirmed he's slipped one cousin the tounge and blatenly looked down another's blouse. this on top of 2-3 other sexual molestation and exposing of self claims. at the gravesite today, he was telling the minister "yeah, me and thomas had our problems, but, they were all his fault..." when we heard this we were all :o :o :o his son said "dad's being an ass. well, at least he's being consistent." he even scratched out his own adopted daughter's name off the name registry.

something that touched me that dad said was that i was one of the few around thomas felt like he could teach something. he two son in laws had little interest in anything hands on. his own daughter is more interested in learning how to drive the tractor then his son in laws are. but he showed me years ago how to drive the tractor. how to use the wood spliter. how to do some mechanical things on cars. i told dad that i wished i had learned to weld, and i'd still like to know - my uncle wanted to teach me "when i had time" (which i never made... what a mistake). one son in law can drive his strightshift pickup, out of 2 dauthers, a wife and 2 son in laws, he was the only one who can drive it. my dad and i can, hell, even mom could drive it. i think it would be safe to say uncle thomas was proud of me :) he never was able to come see my house, for he's been fairly sick for over a year now... i know it was this past spring i told him he should stop by, and he'd reply "i'd like to, when i feel like i could make it there.." actually i guess he was in better shape 1 year ago, it was spring he started to deterioate. hmm

it was noted that the weather held out for him - ever since july he's said "if it'd only warm up, maybe i could get outside and do something..." it was warm up until friday night when he passed. it cooled off saturday, was chilly sunday, and was plum COLD today.

well, it was said today, that, "it's not what i should have done, or i could have done, or i would have done, it's what you do." which is true. i'm no pope, i'm no saint, i'm no hero - but i think if someone needs something, i'll try to help. maybe that's all i can do. good night folks :D